Why I Build.
My beliefs and why it defines who I am
November 26,2024
last update: 2024-11-26
I’ve spent all my free time building arcane projects that don’t matter.
Despite being tired, or stressed from my day job. I’ve always had projects that consume all my free time.
Building something has been my leisure. Making something that is meaningful (to me) has been my trinket of joy.
So many times, I lose interest or don’t see the point after digging deeper. But I come out a satisfied man. Happy that I spent the nights searching for a solution. Happy that I got to interact with the people that I interacted with.
Creating something means to push oneself. To be better than oneself, To be better at something than yesterday.
The default state of everything is to go with the flow and everything regresses to the mean. Dead wood in water, Sand in a desert, people in a mob. It takes conscious effort to create. To push against entropy. And Even more pain and sacrifice to create something you are proud of.
Although its such a cliché to quote Steve Jobs, I like this poem written by him
I grow little of the food I eat, and of the little I do grow
I did not breed or perfect the seeds.I do not make any of my own clothing.
I speak a language I did not invent or refine.
I did not discover the mathematics I use.
I am protected by freedoms and laws I did not conceive
of or legislate, and do not enforce or adjudicate.I am moved by music I did not create myself.
When I needed medical attention, I was helpless to help myself survive.
I did not invent the transistor, the microprocessor, object oriented programming, or most of the technology I work with.
I love and admire my species, living and dead, and am totally dependent on them for my life and well being.
– Steve Jobs
The most interesting part to me in this poem is how, impact in life is done by giving back to the world. Not by being a perpetual consumer. I want to touch a lot of lives. I want my existence to mean something.
Building is how I exist outside the marketing machine that surrounds us. It is my tiny revolt at those who try to manipulate me into submission, to be one with the masses.
Most of my adult life, I’ve had an incredibly understanding partner who doesn’t get annoyed that I say no to going to the movie at the last minute because there is something I’m working on. In fact I feel so ashamed to say, we’ve never been to a movie as a couple because I always find a reason why it’s not worth it and I’d rather spend my time behind the screen. Safe to say, I’m working on fixing this.
There is no magic.
Start where you are.
You can just do things.